I had another one of “THOSE DAYS”.  Nothing seemed to be going right.  Work was blah, personal life was even more blah.  Everything was going against me!  If you’ve ever had one of those days I’m sure you can relate.

God was having a hard time getting through—I was having NONE of that!  But God being faithful and just, waited for me to open the door, even a tiny crack, and let him in.  That crack happened the next morning during my devotion/study time.  The reading pointed me to Philippians 4:6-7:

            “Be careful for nothing but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God.  And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.”

Life is going to throw things at us that really stink.  Life can be very hard at times and challenges can seem insurmountable.  These are the times that we need to rely on God and our faith to carry us.

Christ is always beside us just like the parent of a two year old, guiding our steps, steering us away from harm, catching us when we fall and most importantly loving us and caring for us when we choose not to follow His guidance.  He knows that we will fall and greets us with open, forgiving arms when we return.  God’s love is unconditional, what a wonderful thing!

Most of us fall back on our faith when life gets “catastrophic”-when we are faced with loss of a loved one, life threatening illness and or death.  But what about those times that all the little things seem to be piling up, like on “THOSE DAYS?”

Days like that I chalk up to “stinkin thinkin.”  When you wake up late and you’re rushing to get ready, the shower takes forever to warm up, then you spill your coffee with the hairdryer cord-Ugh!  The dress you wanted to wear you notice has a tear in the hem, you hit every red light on the way to your appointment and when you finally do arrive the person you are meeting with is running late!  How Rude!

We can carry this scenario throughout the entire day and share it with everyone we talk to, bringing more of the same into our day.  OR we can make a different choice, one where we stop the craziness.  The more we identify and focus on the crazy, the more we get, so the sooner we redirect our thinking, the better.

I have found when I catch myself “stinkin thinkin” I tell myself “STOP RIGHT THERE” and make myself think of something that I’m blessed with, even if it is something small.  Today some of those things are: a lanai to sit on and enjoy the beautiful morning with the birds singing, the sun shining, turtles in the canal and the delicious Chocolate Raspberry Truffle coffee I’m enjoying.

 

We aren’t perfect so there will be occasional “bad days” but for the most part the above practice has changed my life in ways I could not have imagined ten years ago.  It also helps me to not get caught up in other people’s crazy but I’ll save that story for another day.

Philipians 4:8

“Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.  

Blessings!

Letting Go

Letting go is something I don’t do well.  Letting go of the old hurts, regrets of things I didn’t do and things I did do that weren’t in alignment with who I am.  Letting go doesn’t always mean forgetting but it does mean forgiving. 

Forgiving ourselves when we do things that are not in alignment with our own values is critical.  Maybe we lost our temper when we shouldn’t have. We judged people and condemned them with others, not accepting them as valued children of God.  We may have been dishonest with someone we love or we gave in to temptation.  I don’t know of anyone who hasn’t done something they regret. 

Christ says “No man having put his hand to the plough, and looking back, is fit for the Kingdom of God.”  My daughter took riding lessons when she was young so I spent many hours in the arena with her during her lessons.  One of the first lessons she learned was that the horse goes wherever you are looking.  Really?  How does that thousand pound horse know where you are looking with your eyes?  I couldn’t believe it!  But, the more I watched the lessons I learned that it was true, especially when she started jumping.  If she was looking down at the jump, the horse would stop short or go around the jump.  If she was looking up to where she wanted to go after the jump he would sail over the pole or fence.  Hmmm. 

I began to think about this idea in other context.  When I thought about (or looked at) things that were not desirable in my life, I got more undesirables.  If I focused on things that I was thankful for in my life, that is what began showing up.  This is one of the most powerful lessons I have learned.  What you focus on shows up more. 

Just like my daughter on the horse, we lead our lives consciously and unconsciously.  It wasn’t just where she was looking.  When she consciously looked and concentrated on where she wanted to go the rest of her body unconsciously followed suit.  Her torso leaned, her legs gripped, her arms and hands led the reins anticipating the next move.  The horse sensed all these things and did what he was supposed to do.

When we live intentionally, consciously anticipating what God has intended for us, everything else will unconsciously follow.

In 2010 I was diagnosed with breast cancer and at the beginning of chemotherapy I had another experience with this idea.  In chemotherapy you are giving an I.V. cocktail that essentially kills all the fast growing cells in your body.  Many times you loose your hair, your fingernail and toenails and it can be very debilitating.  The day after my first treatment I was focusing on the bags of “poison” that had been put into my body and I could feel it working in my body killing off all the quickly reproducing cells, especially the lining of my stomach so I was feeling particularly yucky and sorry for myself.  I decided to float in the pool to see if that would make me feel better and as I was floating, feeling sorry for myself, God hit me with a two by four.  Ok, not literally but I have a tendency to ignore the more subtle ways He communicates with me so he has to take more drastic measures.  It hit me that the only way I was going to make it through treatment successfully was to allow the treatment to work on the cancer but focus on the healing that was happening after.  That was a turning point in my treatment.  I’m not saying that treatment was easy but I was able to continue working and live by myself throughout because of that change in mindset.

So, if we think about the ways we have been hurt in the past, or hurt others, we will see more hurt happening.  If we are grateful for all the good things and opportunities that have come into our lives we will see more good in every day.  If we focus on the mistakes we have made, we will continue to make more mistakes.  However, if we take the lessons from those mistakes and ask for forgiveness when necessary, we will begin to live life in alignment with God and ourselves.

My daughter took many tumbles off that huge horse and there are many bruises and X-rays to prove it but I’m proud to say she still loves horses and will take every chance she gets to ride.  We can learn from her that we may not forget all the falls, however, the thrill of the ride is worth the healing we receive through forgiveness.

 My prayer is that we will all be living forward with anticipation, giving thanks for all the good in our lives.

My Cancer Story

In 2010 I moved 1300 miles for a job, saw the end of my 25 year marriage, started a business and was diagnosed with breast cancer.  It was a year of new beginnings to say the least.

When I felt the lump in my left breast it was a little concerning however I had had a lump in my right breast several years prior that turned out to be benign. I assumed I would go in, have a biopsy and find out the same again.  Unfortunately this was a 2cm tumor that was malignant.  Just to give you a point of reference, it was about the size of a nickel. I can’t begin to explain the thoughts and feelings that went running though my mind.

Not only were my emotions reeling but now I was faced with making life altering decisions while in a state of shock.  I did have the support of family and friends but this was one time I really wished my husband would have been there to support me.

I had to decide whether to have  a mastectomy (remove breast) or lumpectomy (remove the tumor and some surrounding tissue), both having pros and cons. I was blessed enough to have been referred to a good surgeon that I was comfortable with. Additionally my Mother and my aunt, who is an RN, were there to help listen and understand the day I went to see the surgeon.

I opted for a lumpectomy and my surgery was in August. They removed the tumor, surrounding tissue as well as 14 lymph nodes under my arm.  In September I began 6 months of chemotherapy.  I lost my hair, my eyebrows and even my eyelashes.   The up side was that I didn’t have to shave my legs or underarms, that part I could get used to.

During my treatment I continued to work as a business consultant, traveling about a 3 hour radius around Punta Gorda, Florida as well as taking a 10 day business trip to California, which landed me in the hospital for half of that time.  However, for me, continuing to work was my lifeline. 

After finishing chemo I continued with radiation. The treatment definitely took it’s toll but I realized early on that my attitude and my mindset had everything to do with how I would make it through this.  If I allowed myself to think about and focus on all the bad things happening I would drown in a sea of self-pity, it would have been so easy. But, I’ve never been known to do things the easy way, just ask my parents.  I decided I was going to focus on the healing happening with God’s help and many prayers.

I finished my treatment in May of 2011, my hair grew back and yes, I own a razor again.  I am coming up on 2 years of healthy results and I plan on continuing with many, many, many more years.  My journey with cancer taught me that I am a strong woman when I lean on my faith and focus on moving forward.

This year I created Alive in You, my coaching venture to empower women through major life transitions as a result of my experiences the past 5 years.  There are so many women dealing with cancer diagnosis every day and most of them feel very alone in their journey, I'm here to change that, I want to make sure they have something I didn't have, support from someone who has been there to listen to the good, bad and ugly.

I would like to share a quote from Winston Churchill :

Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.

The courage to continue every day is essential when battling any type of cancer.  There are many resources out there, don't be afraid to reach out.